The Misery of Money
Money governs consensus reality as a symbol of power, safety, and worth. It pervades our thoughts and actions, shaping our relationships and distorting our understanding of what it means to be enough. The pursuit of more—more wealth, more resources, more status—often leads to misery, not because money itself is inherently evil, but because of how deeply it intertwines with our fears, desires, and sense of identity. To unravel this misery, we must confront the myths underpinning our relationship with money and seek new ways of being.
My Journey with Money
My own journey with money has been one of profound reflection and transformation. For much of my life, I felt that accumulating money was the key to safety and stability. I pursued a high-paying career, driven by the belief that the more I earned, the more secure I would feel. Yet, no matter how high my salary climbed, it never felt like enough.
I judged my worth by the size of my bank account and the ease with which I could buy the things I wished to buy. When I could not afford something, it felt like a personal failure, a reflection of my inadequacy. Even when I was financially successful by any external measure, an undercurrent of scarcity persisted, whispering that I needed more.
I remember making risky investments in order to "hit the jackpot" and jump off the endless treadmill, and then I would beat myself up endlessly whenever I lost money, projecting those losses as compounding into the future. Everything I did around money was from a place of attachment—clinging, craving, and aversion—and as a result, it never worked out as I hoped it would.
This relentless striving left me disconnected—from myself, from others, and from the deeper truths of existence. It was only when I began to question the nature of money and my relationship with it that I saw the illusions underpinning my beliefs. This questioning became a foundation of my journey toward sovereignty and alignment, helping me to see beyond the misery money had wrought in my life.
The Myth of Scarcity
At the heart of our obsession with money lies the illusion of scarcity. We are taught that resources are finite, that there is not enough to go around, and that survival depends on competition. This myth creates a world of "haves" and "have-nots," perpetuating inequality and fostering mistrust. Yet, when we look to nature, we see a world of abundance. The Earth offers more than enough to sustain all life when resources flow freely and equitably.
Scarcity is often manufactured. Systems of power intentionally limit access to essentials—food, water, shelter—to maintain control. By hoarding resources and creating artificial shortages, these systems drive the demand for money and deepen our dependency on it. To escape the misery of money, we must recognize scarcity for what it is: a story that can be rewritten.
Money as Energy and Power
Money, at its core, is an energetic tool for exchange. It allows us to share goods, services, and ideas, facilitating connection and cooperation. However, in its current form, money often stagnates. Instead of flowing like a river, it accumulates in reservoirs of wealth, where it loses its ability to nourish the collective. This hoarding of energy creates systemic imbalance, much like a dam disrupts the natural flow of a river.
Beyond energy, money also functions as a concentrated form of power. It dictates access to resources, influences decisions, and often determines one's position within social hierarchies. Those with money wield significant control, while those without it are left vulnerable. This dynamic fosters a sense of dependency and reinforces systems of inequality, as power remains concentrated in the hands of the few.
Reimagining money as both a dynamic force and a shared power invites us to align with its true purpose: fostering trust, collaboration, and mutual upliftment. When money flows freely and power is distributed equitably, it becomes a catalyst for shared joy rather than a source of anxiety and division.
Cultural and Historical Contexts
Throughout history, societies have approached money and exchange in vastly different ways. Ancient barter systems, where goods and services were traded directly, often reflected community-oriented values. In some cultures, wealth was viewed as a shared resource, reinforcing collective well-being rather than individual accumulation. The rise of coinage and currency marked a shift, as money became a proxy for trust and a tool for centralized control.
Examining these shifts reveals how the narratives surrounding money have evolved and how they continue to shape our perceptions of worth and power. Understanding these contexts can help us envision new ways of exchange that honor both individual and collective needs.
The Impact on Relationships and Communities
Money has profound effects on our relationships and communities. The pursuit of financial success often fosters competition, mistrust, disconnection, and endless striving for more. As a Trusts & Estates lawyer, I witnessed families that fractured over inheritance disputes, friendships that faltered under financial strain, and communities that divided along economic lines. I remember so clearly one client with about $100 million, who upon learning that he may receive a $50 million windfall, began gushing about how life changing that would be. Even for those with so much, it was never enough.
Conversely, when money is seen as a tool for connection and shared prosperity, it can strengthen bonds and foster harmony. It becomes a bridge rather than a barrier, facilitating trust and generosity within families, friendships, organizations and communities. In this view, money serves as a means to uplift others and create opportunities rather than as an end in itself. Reimagining money in this way requires a profound shift in values, placing collaboration, mutual support, and shared joy above individual gain and accumulation.
The Illusion of Control
Money often gives the illusion of control. We believe that if we accumulate enough, we can protect ourselves from life's uncertainties. It becomes a shield we cling to, hoping to stave off fear, vulnerability, and impermanence. Yet, even the wealthiest individuals cannot escape the fundamental truths of existence in conventional reality: life is unpredictable, and no amount of wealth can guarantee safety, happiness, or longevity.
This illusion fosters a false sense of security, creating a cycle of anxiety and over-preparation. We focus on external markers of stability, neglecting the internal fortitude that truly allows us to navigate uncertainty. The drive to accumulate often blinds us to the present moment, keeping us perpetually preparing for a future that never fully arrives.
By releasing the need for control and embracing trust—in ourselves, in others, and in the flow of life—we can begin to free ourselves from the misery money imposes. Trust does not mean ignoring life's challenges, but recognizing that true security lies in connection, adaptability, and the ability to find joy and meaning beyond material measures. When we align with this deeper truth, the grip of money loosens, and we reclaim the freedom to live fully.
Solutions and Practices
To heal our relationship with money, we must move with the energy of prosperity. This begins with the understanding that we always have what we require to achieve the optimal fulfillment of our goals. However, many people struggle to experience this truth because they do not believe in it, and we always manifest the reality we believe we can have—the reality we tell ourselves is "just how it is"..
Moving with prosperity means trusting in the natural flow of life, aligning our actions with the knowledge that abundance is ever-present, and cultivating the belief that our needs will always be met in alignment with our highest good. By choosing to hold this belief and act from it, we open the door to experiencing a reality of sufficiency and fulfillment.
Embodying Prosperity: Practice recognizing the ways in which your needs are always met. Reflect on how resources appear at the right time and trust that this flow will continue.
Intentional Alignment: Focus on actions that feel expansive and aligned with your highest purpose. Let go of decisions driven by fear or scarcity, and instead move with clarity and confidence.
Generative Giving: Share resources freely, knowing that giving with joy amplifies the flow of prosperity. When we give, we create energetic ripples that return to us in unforeseen ways. At the same time, part of coming into our sovereignty is recognizing whether the resources being shared are a net benefit for everyone, including us.
Expansive Gratitude: Cultivate a practice of gratitude for all that you have and all that is on its way. Gratitude grounds you in the energy of sufficiency and opens the door to greater possibilities.
By moving with the energy of prosperity, we transcend the patterns of scarcity and fear, allowing money to serve as a harmonious tool rather than a source of misery.
Beyond the Misery
The misery of money is not an inevitability. It is a construct, a pattern of thought and behavior that can be dissolved. By reimagining our relationship with money, we can step into a reality where it serves rather than enslaves. This transformation begins with intention: seeing money as a tool for creating shared joy, rather than a measure of personal value or a weapon of domination.
A post-money paradigm offers a tantalizing vision. Imagine a world where trust and community replace transactions, where prosperity flows freely, and where being enough is no longer tied to what we accumulate but to who we are. Such a world begins within us, as we heal our fears, embrace our sovereignty, and choose to align with the virtues of love, compassion, and shared joy.
