Words Matter: Ignore and the Madness of Shunning
The word ignore carries an almost passive weight in common usage. It seems gentle, even dismissive—a choice to not pay attention, to overlook something or someone. Yet beneath its surface lies a profound and often sharp mechanism of separation, one that can carve divides between people, within communities, and even within our own psyches.
A Refusal of Knowledge
The word ignore comes from the Latin ignorare, meaning "to not know" or "to disregard." At its root, it signifies an active choice—a turning away from knowledge, insight, or awareness. It is not an absence of information, but rather a rejection of it. In this sense, ignorance is not innocence—it is willful blindness.
To ignore something is to close a door within the mind and turn away from what lies on the other side.
Psychic Blindness: The Inner Ignoring
Psychic blindness occurs when we refuse to see or acknowledge something that makes us uncomfortable. It ultimately comes from fear: fear of change, fear of responsibility, or fear of what that awareness might reveal about ourselves.
This kind of ignoring of what is does not simply push something out of view; it creates a blind spot in the soul. Over time, these blind spots can grow, forming entire shadowlands of unacknowledged truths, unspoken pains, and unmet needs. They become places where the light of awareness cannot reach.
When we ignore our own emotions, intuitions, or truths, we fracture ourselves. This inner shunning creates walls between different parts of our being—the thinking mind, the feeling heart, the knowing soul. We become unable to move in the flow of All That Is because we are rejecting substantial parts of it.
To heal psychic blindness requires a courageous willingness to see again, to bring light into those ignored corners, and to listen to the whispers of what was once silenced.
Shunning: The Social Act of Ignoring
On a collective level, ignoring takes the form of shunning. It is one of humanity's oldest and most powerful tools of social control. To shun is to cast someone into the void—not only through physical exile, but through the deliberate withdrawal of acknowledgment.
Shunning operates on both overt and subtle levels. In some cultures, it is ritualized and codified. In others, it is quieter but equally effective—someone becomes invisible in plain sight. Their words are not heard, their presence not recognized.
This social ignoring creates psychic wounds that run deep, often leaving individuals questioning their worth, their reality, and their very existence. To be ignored by a community is to feel erased from the world.
Yet shunning does not only harm the shunned—it fractures the collective field of a group. When a community ignores one of its own, it creates a shadow within itself, a space where the collective consciousness turns away from truth.
Shunning Through the Ages: From Atlantis to Cancel Culture
Shunning stretches across the breadth of human history. Its purpose has remained strikingly consistent: control, conformity, and the maintenance of collective identity.
Atlantis: The First Shunnings
In the ancient stories of Atlantis, shunning played a key role in the fragmentation of its once-unified society. As egos grew and power centralized, those who spoke uncomfortable truths or sought to restore balance were silenced. Shunning in Atlantis became a psychic scar upon the collective memory of humanity, setting a template for how societies would deal with dissent, difference, and disruption in the millennia to come.
Ancient Villages: Survival and Exile
In early human villages, survival hinged on community cohesion. To be shunned, exiled, or cast out meant more than emotional pain—it was often a death sentence. These early shunnings were often ritualized, with specific acts marking one as an outsider—a change in clothing, a brand, or even the refusal to make eye contact. The scar of these ancient exclusions still lingers in our collective psyche, reminding us of the primal fear of abandonment.
The Church: Excommunication and Spiritual Erasure
With the rise of organized religion, shunning evolved into excommunication—a formal, ritualized cutting-off from divine grace and community. The excommunicated were barred from sacraments, refused burial in consecrated ground, and often cast into physical exile as well. What made excommunication particularly powerful was its claim to eternal consequences. It was not only rejection in this life but rejection in the next. The Church wielded shunning as both a social and metaphysical weapon, reinforcing control over both bodies and souls.
Modern Cancel Culture: Digital Shunning
Much of modern culture mirrors ancient patterns: individuals are cast out, their voices silenced, and their presence erased from shared spaces. At an interpersonal level, we see ghosting and blocking, where people decide that the easiest way to end a relationship is to cut off all communication from that point forward, often without warning or explanation. Digital shunning carries a chaotic and unpredictable energy, making its wounds even harder to heal. At a larger societal level, ghosting and blocking evolve into the more powerful shunning of cancel culture.
All of this reveals something deeper: how quickly societies resort to shunning when nuance, patience, and dialogue feel too slow, or people lack the skills to engage wholesomely with each other. In the absence of true connection, shunning becomes a shortcut—a blunt instrument wielded in place of transformation.
The Scapegoat Effect: When Shunning Becomes Collective Catharsis
Shunning often escalates into a performance of collective outrage. The individual becomes a scapegoat, a vessel for the community’s unresolved fears, frustrations, and shadows.
Once someone is shunned, their image is no longer tied to their living presence. They cannot respond, clarify, or defend themselves. In that silence, the story grows unchecked. The person becomes less of an individual and more of a symbol—a representation of whatever the community needs to purge.
In Atlantis: Those who resisted the rising egoic structures were often painted as dangerous heretics or saboteurs, blamed for the very imbalance they sought to heal.
In Ancient Villages: Those cast out were often accused of bringing bad luck, illness, or misfortune to the village. These accusations, once spoken, became irrefutable in the absence of the accused.
In the Church: Heretics were often accused of outlandish acts—consorting with demons, practicing dark rituals, or threatening the divine order. These accusations carried weight not because of their truth, but because they served the needs of the institution.
In Modern Cancel Culture: Digital shunning often amplifies perceived "offenses," creating viral narratives that flatten the complexity of human behavior into caricatures. Social media algorithms reward outrage, turning shunning into spectacle.
In every instance, the narrative is not simply about the shunned individual—it is about the community's need to believe in their exclusion. The more extreme the accusation, the more "right" the act of shunning feels.
The stories that arise around shunning serve two purposes:
To Justify the Shunning: The act of exclusion must feel morally justified to those participating. By amplifying or distorting the perceived "crimes" of the shunned, the community soothes any lingering doubts about the righteousness of their actions.
To Create a Focus for Collective Rage: Communities, especially those under stress, often carry collective frustrations, fears, or unresolved trauma. A scapegoat provides an outlet—a singular point onto which diffuse and uncomfortable feelings can be projected.
The crimes amplified and projected onto the shunned often mirror the unacknowledged shadows of the group itself. This is why the process of shunning often feels ritualistic—it serves as a form of psychic exorcism. The group attempts to expel its own darkness by placing it onto someone else and then symbolically "cleansing" itself through exclusion.
The Paradox of Rejection: What We Shun Controls Us
When we reject something—be it an individual, a part of ourselves, or a truth—it does not lose power. It loses visibility, sinking into the unconscious, where it gains power precisely because it remains unseen and unacknowledged.
This cycle is easy to see in the personal psyche. Someone who rejects their own vulnerability becomes rigid, defensive, and overly controlling. Someone who rejects their own shadow side—their anger, jealousy, or darkness—often finds those traits erupting in uncontrollable moments, harming themselves and others.
In communities, a group rejects an outsider, scapegoating them for a shared fear. The act of rejection creates an energetic wound that festers. That wound begins to dominate the group's unconscious patterns—fear grows, trust erodes, and the cycle repeats with a new scapegoat.
Communities that rely heavily on shunning often become brittle over time. The more individuals are excluded, the more fractures form in the communal web. Shunning does not end when the individual is cast out. The energy of the act lingers. The scapegoat becomes a ghost in the collective psyche, a haunting presence reminding the community of its unresolved shadows. Eventually, the weight of those fractures may cause the entire structure to collapse.
Rejection creates a loop: the more we reject something, the more it dominates us. And the more it dominates us, the more we fear it and reject it further.
The only way out of this cycle is integration—a willingness to face, acknowledge, and embrace what was once rejected.
Healing the Pattern: From Rejection to Wholeness
How do individuals and communities heal from the cycle of shunning and projection? It begins with a willingness to see the scapegoat clearly—not as a villain, but as a witness.
In the Self: Integration means sitting with the uncomfortable parts of ourselves, listening to their messages, and finding ways to work with them rather than against them.
In Communities: Integration means acknowledging the wounds of shunning, welcoming the exiled back into the fold, and creating spaces where uncomfortable truths can be spoken without fear of rejection.
In Culture: Integration means facing historical injustices, reconciling with the stories that were silenced, and finding a way to honor all voices in the collective narrative.
The shunned often hold deep truths that the community was unwilling to face. When those truths are honored—when the community acknowledges not only the person but also the pattern of exclusion—it becomes possible to break the cycle.
Healing from shunning begins with:
Honesty: Admitting where we have turned away; a recognition of how narratives were distorted and shadows projected.
Compassion: For ourselves and for others, regardless of our or their role in the shunning; restoring the threads of connection that were severed.
Action: Consciously engaging with what was overlooked; facing and integrating the fears, wounds, and patterns that drove the shunning in the first place.
When we integrate, we reclaim our power—not over others, but within ourselves.
Shunning versus Holding Time
While shunning and the concept of holding time may seem similar on the surface—both involve creating space between individuals—they are fundamentally different in their energy, intention, and outcome.
Shunning is an act of rejection. It carries an energy of severance, finality, and judgment. The shunned individual is often made into an object of projection, a scapegoat for collective shadows. There is no invitation for return, no bridge left intact. The energy is rigid, and the wound it creates festers in both the shunned and those who shun.
Holding Time, on the other hand, is an act of compassion. It is the intentional creation of space, not from rejection, but from a deep understanding that, in the current state, the relationship cannot unfold in a way that is kind, harmonious, or healing for either party. Holding time is an acknowledgment of a temporary misalignment, with the wisdom to know that time, space, and growth allow for reconnection.
Energetically, holding time carries an open door. The boundary set is not a wall, but a bridge under construction. The message is not “You are exiled,” but rather “I care for you and for myself, and right now, space is needed for us to meet again with clarity and love.”
In holding time:
The door remains open: There is an understanding that healing may occur, and reconnection may become possible.
The heart remains soft: Even in distance, there is compassion, love, and goodwill directed towards the other.
The energy remains clean: Holding time avoids the projections, blame, and escalation narratives that often accompany shunning.
Holding time is an act of sovereignty. It allows both individuals to remain responsible for their healing and growth, without the entanglement of reactive or harmful dynamics. It does not sever the thread of connection—it allows it to rest, strengthen, and realign.
Ultimately, shunning fractures, while holding time preserves the potential for integration. One closes a door; the other keeps it ajar, with an unspoken invitation: “When we are ready, let us meet again in harmony.”
A Final Reflection
Rejection and shunning are not acts of liberation—they are acts of entanglement. True freedom comes from integration, from turning towards the ignored and saying: "I see you. I welcome your ideas into our community, to be consciously explored, understood, and integrated harmoniously."
When we stop rejecting, we stop being controlled. When we integrate, we heal not only ourselves but also the fractures etched into the soul of humanity.
The next time you think about ignoring something or someone, perhaps pause for a moment, and consider if there is a kinder way to move. Can you respond to what they are saying or doing in a way that promotes harmony, rather than reacting negatively from a place of fear or identification?
The act of seeing becomes the antidote to shunning. And in that seeing, we reclaim not only the ignored but also the light of our collective wholeness.
