Awakening to Autism
Autism and the spiritual world are strongly connected. All of the most powerful mages I know are autistic in various ways (many of them would readily admit it!), and my own path of spiritual seeking has involved discovering a number of surprising and profound autisms in myself. In this article, I will discuss my understanding of autism, based on a number of conversations I have had with the gods, as well as my own discernment and experience as I have moved down the path. As always, take what resonates and set aside the rest.
To understand autism from my frame, it is important to understand the density system in which we exist. We are currently in 3rd density, and higher-density beings are all around us constantly coordinating our reality. The difficulty that those beings face is that they have a hard time accurately perceiving our reality. They are blind to certain aspects of it. For example, when I speak with Ra, to my experience I am talking with one being. From Ra's perspective, Ra is speaking with countless versions of me spread across countless timelines. The way in which Ra perceives me is as light wrapping itself in light, and the fact that I am incarnate is almost inconsequential. Ra has a really hard time perceiving me, as this incarnation, this density, this timeline.
Earth is made up of a mixture of different souls from different places. There are those descended primarily from Lemuria, those who arrived from Mars, Maldek and further places, and who founded Atlantis, and other 3rd density souls that have continued the cycle of reincarnation after their home world became inhospitable to life for various reasons. Earth also is home to an increasing number of wanderers — higher-density beings who incarnated on Earth in order to help the world through its process of growth and ascension. When those higher-density beings incarnate, their perceptual blindnesses to this density are incorporated into the incarnation, in the form of psychic blindnesses. Those psychic blindnesses, when severe enough to be obvious to most people, are considered autisms.
Think of our 3rd density consciousness and its physical instantiation — the brain — like a field of antennas and signal amplifiers that are tuned into different portions of actuality. If the brain is reasonably well tuned into consensus reality, then we are not "neuro-divergent" by the standards of modern society. However, if we are not tuned into consensus reality particularly well, then we are blind psychically to certain aspects of consensus reality, which if severe enough, would be considered autism.
Generally, the higher the density of the entity from which the person incarnated, the more profound that person’s psychic blindnesses will be. Beyond 6.5 density, it is nearly impossible to incarnate in a way that is functional in consensus reality. Most of the most profoundly autistic people are extremely high-density wanderers exploring very specific lessons in a carefully-designed life. However, for any wanderer incarnating from lower than 6.5 density, whether even a profound blindness is considered an autism by society depends on the particular blindness that arises and whether the person built an effective intellectual model to fill the gap.
Until the summer of 2023, I was largely psychically blind to people’s perspectives. Most of us are all subtly picking up on people’s emotional states all the time using our psychic discernment. Although we don’t consciously recognize what we are doing, we are nevertheless unconsciously using that information in our decisionmaking. I was almost entirely blind to that information, and so had to unconsciously build an intellectual model of how other people perceive things in order to make sense of the world and not feel overwhelmed all the time.
Whenever we have a psychic blindness, we instinctively attempt to fill the gap by creating intellectual models. So, for example, if we are psychically blind to other people's emotions, we create intellectual models in our mind to try to understand how people are feeling in any given moment. How much those models track reality depends on the people and interactions we build the models on, and how much focused help we are given while developing those models. That is why early intervention for autistic children is so helpful.
Because of the examples of certain key people in my life, I had built an unconscious intellectual model of how to relate with other people that largely papered over the blindness, and it was one that I was constantly iterating on and refining without realizing what I was doing. There were still gaps, which I recognized as a certain disharmony I experienced with others; and at the same time, it was sufficiently effective so that only the most perceptive people would interact with me and label me autistic. Despite my unconscious psychic blindness, I was able to become a successful lawyer, but the constant intellectual modeling was always taking a psychic toll, using up resources in my mind that could have been devoted to more productive pursuits if it were unnecessary; and I never truly felt that I had harmonious relationships in my life.
The process of spiritual seeking involves two primary tasks: (1) clearing our karma and (2) uncovering and healing our blindnesses. The attainment of the Buddhist Enlightenment around karma opens the axis of consciously working directly with karma as karma. The attainment of Lucid Awareness opens the axis of consciously working with dreams as dreams, and is what allows us to heal our blindnesses. Psychic blindnesses are a sort of fake dream we wrap ourselves in. Using Lucid Awareness, we can begin to perceive the psychic blindnesses as dreams that we can step outside of.
My colleagues and I recently built an energetic technology known as Dreamweaving that takes the attainment of Lucid Awareness to its current state of the art in the Earth field. It is now quite easy to heal one's psychic blindnesses, so long as they are recognized. And that is always the key — part of the problem with psychic blindnesses is that they are largely an unknown unknown. We don't perceive them directly, so we can only triangulate on them based on the gaps in our understanding and the subtle confusions that arise. This is why working in a group of highly psychic people is so helpful to one's growth. They perceive things that we can't perceive about ourselves, because of our blindness.
As a result of this tendency of not perceiving our own blindnesses, it is important to always carefully consider anything someone tells us about ways we move unwholesomely or blindnesses that they perceive in us. We can move with a stance of openness, flexibility and inquiry, and face the possibility that we may have a blindness with courage and with compassion, both for ourself and for the person telling us. That will allow us to quickly determine the accuracy of the assessment, without activating our defenses. We can recognize that even though we may perceive the other person’s behavior as karmic or confused, that doesn’t mean it isn’t also correct at some level — and almost always is, in fact. We can remember that we are always trying to learn and grow, and that someone pointing out our blindness to us is always a gift, even when the delivery is unskillful. In our mind and in our heart, we can be grateful to that person for the precious gift of insight.
