Chapter 2, Lesson 4: Clinging

Welcome to Chapter 2, Lesson 4 of Finding Your Way. In this lesson, we're going to explore the movement of clinging. Clinging, as we've discussed, is essentially holding on to what is comfortable out of fear of the unknown. This movement can manifest in various aspects of our lives, often subtly and without our immediate awareness.

Clinging is the act of holding onto familiar experiences, beliefs, or situations, even when they no longer serve us or align with our true path. For many of us, the things we know and are used to are comforting, even if they are unwholesome or unhelpful. We stay in bad relationships, unpleasant jobs, or unhealthy environments because we are clinging to what we know out of fear that the unknown will be even more uncomfortable than the present. We cling to the idea that our life is satisfying enough, and convince ourselves that we therefore don’t want anything more, even though we are not actually happy.

We don’t only cling to the present. We also cling to the past, by constructing unrealistic ideas of a better past, as a counterpoint to the unhappiness of our current existence. The modern conservative movement in the United States is largely animated by clinging to a perceived better past and clinging to existing modes of behavior with little interest in exploring how to improve on what is, other than doing more of what has already been done, and rejecting anything that is perceived to threaten that.

We cling to the future, when we crave. Craving is clinging to the idea that the object of craving (whether a physical object, person, or experience) will solve all of our problems or create our happiness. We are clinging to the object as a ground, rather than doing the internal work to bring about real happiness.

We cling to our gods and our guns, our hatreds and the stories we are telling ourselves, because it feels safer than facing ourselves and exploring the unknown. It is comforting to tell ourselves that what we believe to be true is what is actually and unambiguously true, so that we can satisfy our ego and be correct, while also placing ourselves mentally in a superior position to those who don’t recognize our own truths. Notice how in moments of clinging (as in hiding), we often fail to maintain our sovereignty or respect the sovereignty of others, by either mentally elevating ourself above others, or subordinating ourself to someone else.

Here are a few examples of types of clinging. At their core, all movements of clinging are movements born out of a desire to remain safe and comfortable.

• Clinging to Prosperity: This type of clinging involves an attachment to material wealth, success, and the trappings of financial prosperity. It is characterized by a deep-seated need to accumulate wealth, status symbols, or material possessions as a means of self-validation, security, or social standing. This form of clinging often stems from a belief that happiness, worth, and security are directly tied to material success and the external markers of achievement. As with all clinging, the money never buys true happiness. Conversely, many people who do not have wealth tell themselves the story that money is evil, and they are therefore averse to wealth at the same time they crave it, compounding the clinging.

• Clinging to Outcome: Here, the focus is on attachment to specific outcomes or goals. This can manifest as an inflexible adherence to plans, a reluctance to adapt to changing circumstances, or an obsession with achieving certain life milestones, often driven by societal expectations or personal ego. Many people on the spiritual path suffer from this type of clinging. They view enlightenment or some other milestone of the path as their salvation, and thereby dramatically externalize and distort their journey, creating much suffering for themselves.

• Clinging to Belief: This involves rigidly holding onto beliefs, ideologies, or worldviews, often out of a need for cognitive consistency or fear of being wrong. It manifests in an unwillingness to consider new ideas or perspectives and can lead to close-mindedness or intolerance.

• Clinging to Identity: All clinging ultimately arises from our sense of self. If we didn’t cling to our identity, there would be no “us” to do the clinging. It is only through a distorted understanding of self that any hiding, clinging, or shattering arises. When we identify with something, we put a piece of our consciousness in that thing, attaching ourselves deeply to that thing, and hollowing ourselves out in the process. While any identification is unwholesome, it can be particularly problematic when it involves holding onto certain aspects of our identity or self-image that have become outdated. We often cling to past achievements or failures, roles, or self-perceptions that no longer reflect our current reality or aspirations but provide a sense of identity security. Similarly, we often cling to aspects of identity that are aligned with our cultural milieu, even when those aspects don’t accurately reflect our internal beliefs or moral philosophy, so that we do not have to stand out or be judged.

Ironically, the safety we perceive in clinging is an illusion. By holding on to the familiar, we close ourselves off to the potential for greater joy and fulfillment. We limit our ability to experience the full spectrum of life and the growth that comes with embracing new opportunities. And we distort our manifestations, causing us to experience unwholesome and unhappy outcomes.

To begin addressing clinging, we must first recognize its presence. It might appear as reluctance to change jobs, despite dissatisfaction, or as an unwillingness to let go of old grudges or past hurts. It can also manifest as a persistent craving for material possessions, exciting experiences, status, or relationships, believing they will bring happiness.

Cultivating awareness is key to understanding our clinging tendencies. Pay attention to moments when you feel resistant to change or when you find yourself justifying staying in a situation that doesn't fulfill you. Notice the justifications you create to maintain the status quo. As with hiding, we can use mindfulness to notice our movements of clinging, keeping our psychological focus in the now by moving with equanimity. Then we can explore the movement with an attitude of inquiry, courage and compassion.

At the root of clinging is often a fear of uncertainty or a lack of trust in ourselves and the universe. To move past clinging, we can face these fears directly. Acknowledge them, explore their origins, and reconcile with them. Invite them to change your mind. Remember, growth, by its nature, lies in the unknown. The process of letting go is not about loss but about opening up to new possibilities. It’s about trusting that there is something more fulfilling beyond our current understanding. It’s a leap of faith, a step towards growth and spiritual awakening. We often instinctively cling to a ground of safety and security, thinking that if we let go, we will fall. That is a fallacy. When we let go of ground, we don’t fall; we float.

To aid you in this journey of recognizing and releasing clinging, I will now transmit an energy to help illuminate these patterns in your life. This transmission will enhance your awareness of movements of clinging and support you in moving towards a more open, seeking-oriented mindset.

{Perceive Clinging as Clinging}

Reflect on this lesson and the transmission in the coming days. Observe moments of clinging in your life and gently guide yourself towards releasing those attachments. In our next lesson, we’ll explore the movement of shattering, its dangers, and its transformative potential.

Until then and always, may your journey be filled with courage, growth, and a gentle letting go of that which no longer serves you. Be well.